I’m going to skip the classic, “Whoa boy, has 2020 been a year”, because we’re talking about something infinitely better right now: Hocus Pocus.
Hocus Pocus starts out in colonial Massachusetts, and it gets pretty bonkers right off the bat. Not only does a little girl have the life sucked out of her, but the Sanderson Sisters, our lovely trio of witches, GET HUNG. Yes! HUNG ON THE GALLOWS. This is a kids movie! Then, the movie takes a leap to “present day” Salem, Massachusetts. High schooler Max lights a magic candle that brings the Sanderson Sisters back to life, and then has to battle the forces of evil to make sure that the witches don’t suck the life out of all of the children in Salem. The adventure includes an immortal cat that gets run over by a bus unscathed, and an undead zombie who turns from evil to good as soon as he can tell off the witch who killed him.
Hocus Pocus came out in 1993, and was directed by Kenny Ortega (High School Musical, anyone?). Admittedly, this was before my time. So, this movie was scaring kids far before it scared me. And scare me it did. And I LOVED it.
It brings immense joy to know that in 2020, that still rings true. Little kids are still being introduced to the movie for the first time. I watched Hocus Pocus with my friend’s 1-and-a-half-year old daughter. She loved it for about 30 minutes, as babies do. Her mom says that she loves the movie. The best part? Her 6-year old brother is terrified of the movie. It gave him nightmares.
The beautiful cycle of Hocus Pocus continues. Love it, terrified, love it.
At this point, I laugh at the same jokes my mother does when I inevitably get her to watch Hocus Pocus with me on a chilly October night. First off, “AIRHEAD VIRGIN”? This movie roasts this poor high-schooler for being a virgin! Which, first off, is incredibly rude And they make the joke throughout the movie. They do NOT want you to forget it. There’s also the classic “thou shalt not speak to master in such a manner”. For kids, the best part of that scene is the old rat dog getting sent on attack mode. That applies to most adults, too, but they’ll at least catch those not-so-kid-friendly undertones.
And then, the joke that stuns me to this day. That gives whiplash to babysitters everywhere who just want to watch Hocus Pocus with the kids. The bus driver scene.
“I desire… children.”
“It may take me a couple tries but I don’t think there’ll be a problem.”
Good on you. Hocus Pocus. Thanks for never leaving the head of kids who fell in love with you. Loved it as a kid, gives you whiplash as an adult.
This article was written by a guest contributor
Amanda started writing with video game reviews – every 12 year old boy’s dream! She has worked in TV development and children’s theater. She also writes and produces a podcast called Logdate. She finds a way to write about almost anything, and loves stories that inspire happiness and change.
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